Liberty Through Incompetence

So parlous is the state of the prison system in England and Wales that the Government has been forced to adopt a policy other than banging everyone up for longer while proclaiming that conditions are still too good for 'em. The customary bank holiday surge has left only enough accommodation for about eighty-two per cent of the current parliamentary Conservative Party, and since Team Starmer is unable to build a new prison by Saturday certain inmates will now be released early. There are also plans for a cut in the proportion of sentences that certain categories of offender must spend in jail; though lest any patriot should fear the approach of anything so un-British as a properly-run probation service or a favouring of rehabilitation over punishment, we are assured that this will be a purely temporary measure.