Practical Benefits

Patriots will rejoice at the right royal Britishness now ruling at Clerrents Hice, one of only eight non-secondary residences at the disposal of the nation's number one public servant, where a closure for short-term building work has been going on for the past five years with no end in sight. The original closure was extended during the pandemic when a spirit of noblesse oblige caused the Royal Collection Trust to sack a hundred and fifty experienced staff, who seem to have lacked sufficient feudal spirit to return in the aftermath. In addition, the country's casting aside of the Strasbrussels yoke has somehow failed to prevent a wog shortage, which now afflicts the entire tourism and hospitality industry. Fortunately, the delicate sensibilities of Team Battenberg prevent any sordid bureaucratic prying into the mere real-world effect of Britain's Ruritanian tushery; so nobody knows whether or not the continuing closure of Clerrents Hice makes any actual difference.