Political Headaches

Britons unhappy with their likely electoral choice between the current and former parties of Natalie Elphicke might spare a thought for voters in the USA, whose likely options for chief executive are limited to business as usual and the return of the tangerine tyrant. Even the local equivalent of the Liberal Democrats is a babbling demagogue with a brain so toxic that a parasitic worm apparently died after ingesting some of it. Brain trouble runs in the Kennedy clan, of course, from Ted's fatal cancer to the unsolicited opening of John F's mind in Dallas; but with at least one other candidate possessed of a hollow cranium filled entirely with the diarrhoeic defecations of a hydrophobic head-tribble, the mere attested presence of a partial cerebrum is arguably an advantage of sorts, even in the country that elected Ronald Reagan twice and the Bush chimpanzee once.