Miraculous Millennial

It's no secret that Vatican Incorporated has been put to some small expense in recent years thanks to the temptations posed by, among others, teenage boys. Nevertheless, the supreme leader of Mussolini's toy city-state has condescended to demonstrate forgiveness by canonising a millennial ephebe. The boy has been credited with the two requisite miracles, in one case effecting a cure through the touching of his raiment, and in the second causing a head injury to clear up by supernatural means despite the victim undergoing emergency surgery by qualified physicians and a week and a half in intensive care. It was doubtless in order to facilitate such interventions from beyond the grave that the All-Merciful afflicted the saintly stripling with leukaemia and did not trouble to save him as far as his sixteenth birthday.