Innocence Abroad

Those currently bleating that cuts in international aid and support for the Netanyahoo's ethnic cleansing have lost Britain some sort of moral status would do well to look into our glamorous history of fair play with the Chagossians. Arbitrarily evicted from their homeland for the convenience of Britain's favourite ally, some were granted the right to British citizenship mere decades later. Others were deported to Mauritius and the Seychelles, and Mauritius is now claiming the Chagos Ialands as its own and issuing identity documents defining Chagossians as Mauritians. Having acted unlawfully in decolonising Mauritius without decolonising the Chagos Islands, Britain is negotiating with Mauritius on the issue of sovereignty, and has chivalrously refused to permit the Chagossians so much as observer status: doubtless Britain's glistening pink Secretary of State for Lesser Breeds shares the Mauritian government's inability to tell Mauritians and Chagossians apart. Lord Dave, whose noble countenance would indubitably blotch puce should the Strasbrussels dictatorship seek to re-define Britons as Europeans, has also reversed the policy of his predecessor and ruled out any resettlement of the islands; presumably because his predecessor was James Cleverly and resettlement has three syllables too many. Despite its moral status, Britain's Ministry for Wog Disposal apparently declined to comment on the matter.