A Very Strange Country

A healthy pink portion of best parliamentary gammon has gone squealing to the Maily Toryguff because some Africans and their subtle Oriental paymasters had the gall to treat him like a wog. The banker, Brexiteer, equal marriage opponent and high-maintenance expenses claimant for East Worthing and Shoreham was detained for several hours in Djibouti and then thrown out, allegedly on direct orders from the Heathen Chinee, who have very cunningly invested in the country for the sole purpose of inconveniencing forthright members of the master race. Despite Djibouti's relative nearness to Rwanda, such manifestations of British fair play as overcrowding, indefinite detention and conditions unfit for human habitation do not appear to have been bestowed; and the champion of democracy and human rights for the right sort of people also does not seem to have been tasered, cavity-searched or interrogated about his sex life, perhaps because he might have enjoyed it too much.