Psychological Welfare

Although His Majesty's Government treats the mental health of native shirkers and scroungers with characteristic contempt, it has apparently developed a touching concern for the emotional well-being of the swarming hordes. An enemy of the people has criticised the Idleness Police for their efficient and ultimately fatal exacerbation of a benefits claimant's anxiety issues; by contrast, the Ministry for Wog Warehousing has confirmed that it routinely withholds information from relatives when asylum seekers die in custody. Since there is no evidence of a link between foreign mental illness and His Majesty's Government chalking up another migrant bag, the Ministry has stated that such disclosures would endanger the mental health of the deceased's relatives. In defence of British values, it is expected that Team Starmer will respond with righteous indignation to the idea that the families of migrants should be treated with such excessive consideration while people who have chosen a life on benefits are being placed in a state of permanent economic inactivity.