Absolutely Astonishing

Greatly to the astonishment of almost nobody at all, an empty slogan has proven to be little more than an empty slogan. "Levelling up" was a guiding principle of the National Johnson régime for at least as long as it took to fool enough of the people enough of the time, and the concept was subsequently delivered unto the proudly inexpert administration of the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove; yet despite these advantages only a tenth of the promised funds have materialised. As might be expected by practically anyone except a professional journalist or a committee drawn from the House of Expenses Claimants, those projects which have been funded are not the low and vulgar sort which might sully their backers by making a difference in the real world; except possibly as regards the fiscal well-being of friendly crooks, chancers and other deserving recipients of Christian forgiveness. Who could possibly have foreseen it?