Pretty Awesome

Since February is the month when even Conservatives are supposed to make some sort of show at caring about children's mental health, the baby-faced member for Carshalton and Wallington has received applause from all sides of the House of Expenses Claimants for talking about his own suicide attempt. Whether he was encouraged to do so in commemoration of Boost Your Self-Esteem Month (doubtless a parliamentary favourite), or simply as an aid to public perspective on the consequences of his party's relaxed attitude to public health, remains as yet unclear; in the event, Elliot Colburn's pep talk on better days ahead was overshadowed by Fishy Rishi's latest attempt at robust Johnsonian knockabout. This is unfortunate, given that Colburn's voting record has been largely in favour of depriving others of the help which he urged them to seek, and entirely in favour of the policies which may recently have led to the suicide of at least one resident aboard the Bibby Stockholm prison hulk. Evidently one death by suicide need not be one too many, provided that it doesn't happen to be Elliot Colburn's.