Don't Send Them Back

Once more the ghastly forces of woke internationalism are seeking to rewrite British history and warp the sacred course of market forces. The government of Ethiopia, wilfully oblivious of the fact that were it not for Mr Churchill they would all be speaking Italian, has sought to prevent the privatisation of a shield which was incorporated into the assets of the British Empire following the Battle of Maqdala in 1868. A famous instance of British fair play, the battle involved thirteen thousand British troops against one-third that number of Ethiopians, and resulted in nearly two thousand casualties among the aggressors against one-tenth that number from the master race. Various native artefacts were involuntarily exported for educative purposes, some of which the Victoria and Albert Museum has generously condescended to loan back to the Ethiopians. Whether such decencies will be observed when a commercial transaction is at stake remains to be seen.