Scents of Freedom

Few tasks are more vital or more fragrant than that of breeding new Britons; hence the sanctity of both Valentine's Day and Mother's Day, especially the latter on account of Motherhood™ having been invented by the United States. Given the ghastly fecundity of the migrant hordes, the moral imperative for British breeding stock has rarely been greater; which doubtless explains the heinous attempt by foreign floriculturalists to sabotage both the day of breeder motivation and the day of breeder reward. Dutch growers are calling for a relaxation in the rigour of British border controls, which have already been delayed five times so that British business can adapt itself to the simplicity of life in the sunlit uplands. The beastly Euro-wogs threaten increased costs and a possible shortage of flowers if their demands are not met, thereby placing British consumers at risk of smelling yet another Brexit rat.