Orange is the New Red

Several worthies of the Murca party's batshit wing have caused consternation in the Democratic state of Illinois by failing to sign a "voluntary" loyalty oath. Deriving from the days of Team Starmer's spiritual godfather, the greasy junior witch-finder from Wisconsin, the oath is part of the state's traditional election paperwork and requires signatories to swear that they are not Communists and that they will refrain from employing unlawful means to overthrown the government. Three high fliers of the Grand Ordure Pipistrellorum, including the Trumpster under the compulsion of his hydrophobic tangerine head-tribble, have not signed the document this year, despite presumably knowing at least as much as the average Murcan about what being a Communist means, and caring nearly as much as the average Republican about breaking the law. A petition has already been filed to remove the Trumpster from the Illinois primary ballot, though whether because the head-tribble is a Communist or a law-breaker remains as yet unclear.