Good Home for Used Gove, No Time Wasters Please

Although Team Starmer cannot promise to repair crumbling schools, let alone pay teachers properly or raise the living standards of excess working people, its spokesbeing for education has promised that at least no British child shall be without a number. Ostensibly a means of ensuring that children receive whatever services can be expediently afforded, the scheme's real purpose will doubtless be to create a data farm for private companies to use in targeting their salesmanship, as is patently the prognosis for what remains of the hated NHS. In the same speech, appropriately enough, the spokesbeing went out of her way to praise the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove, who spent a happy four years during the coalition spreading chaos and despondency through the sector. He had, you see, a sense of energy and drive and determination, which always look better on the hard right than on the left; and a sense of education being central to national life which is entirely absent in all those teachers and head-teachers who seem to consider it so central as to merit a little less ministerial contempt. Subsequent education ministers are a poor lot by comparison, and during the pandemic even failed to ensure that schools were "last to close and first to open." Should Team Starmer face a similar crisis while in power, Team Starmer evidently hopes that the toll of expendable juveniles may rival that of Fishy Rishi's diner mortality programme.