Freedom of the Seas

With profits stagnant, polls in slump,
The realm a sewage-sodden dump,
The Party in vindictive mood,
The plebs flush with ingratitude,
Statesmen of stature, staunch and true,
Must see the situation through:
The country's going to the dogs?
Let's up our game and bomb some wogs!

Our government the worthy heir
Of Eden, Major and Saint Blair,
Yemen today, and then the mad
Malignant Mullahs shall be had;
Next, once Afghanistan is free,
We'll civilise those damned Chinee.
It's always worked so well before:
Time for a Middle Eastern war!

Victor Jingo