Urgent Business Elsewhere

Even before Fishy Rishi uprooted his government's chief negotiator in Dubai and hauled him back home to help push the Rwanda transportation bill through the House of Expenses Claimants, it seems fair to say that British leadership in the battle for climate compromise has demonstrated considerably more Britishness than leadership. The master race has wagged the finger at beastly foreigns who refuse to agree a complete phasing out of fossil fuels, causing some of the beastlier foreigns to point out the latest round of new North Sea oil and gas licenses. With his usual aplomb, Fishy Rishi himself managed to make a brief appearance at Dubai, only for its brevity to be unfavourably compared with the time spent on the private jet that fossil-fuelled him there and back. Fortunately, unlike those of the beastly foreigns, His Majesty's Government's chief negotiator is only a junior minister, and a minister for climate change at that, which is to say a hybrid of doormat, time-waster and laughing stock; so even Fishy Rishi found him expendable enough to order straight back to Dubai once the wog disposal scheme was safely through.