Watchdog Rolls Over Again

Ofwat, the moisture profiteering guard-poodle which has always seemed short of a consonant or two, concludes its latest round of vigilance amid accusations of meaningless gesturing. Since Thames Water responded to recent whines with more than the usual snigger of contempt, the regulator has reduced the amount which the company will have to hand back to customers. To have done otherwise would have been to reduce the financial incentives that Thames Water requires to repair the infrastructural neglect for which Thames Water is being penalised. Hence, far from making meaningless gestures, the watchdog has once more pressed its toothless gums affectionately to the burglar's ankle and then, having vigorously humped the arrow-patterned trouser leg, has further obliged its masters by fetching a few choice objects to help refill the bag marked SWAG.