Fresh Perspective, Sparkling Insight

As if we needed further proof that net zero in a Westminster context is less a policy of carbon reduction than a measure of brain cell quantity, the relevant minister has proclaimed that the problem does not lie with fossil fuels, but with the emissions they produce. Much as guns don't hurt people and wokeness causes racism, the climate emergency is by no means the fault of those who profit by exploiting fossil fuels; the blame lies entirely with those who distort and dirty the free market with the sewage of demand. If only the little people were less insistent on being housed, fed, watered, lighted and transported, the whole ghastly problem would vanish in a jiffy. Happily, the minister in question will be attending the forthcoming blah-blah in Dubai, where Johnny Foreigner will once again be set straight on why everyone else is to blame and why the Heathen Chinee ought to be compelled to do something about it; so the hollow laughter of the global majority will not fall exclusively upon the unfortunate reciter of the King's Speech.