Another Promising Start

Outside the journalistic profession, there may possibly be some few who recall the Head Boy pomp of Fishy Rishi's glistening pink Minister for Wogs, Beads and Trinkets. The reign of integrity began with a promise not to impose chaotic top-down reorganisations on the NHS (complete with waving of disabled and deceased offspring to prove it) and, with help from the Liberal Democrats, proceeded almost immediately to a chaotic top-down reorganisation of the NHS. A little later, having lost a vote to wog-bomb Syria because he was too lazy and self-complacent to win the Commons numbers, the glistening pink Head Boy lost the EU referendum because he was too lazy to face down the far right and too self-complacent to win the public vote. The reign of integrity ended with a promise to see the result through, which the glistening pink Head Boy immediately broke; a promise to continue representing his constituents, which the glistening pink Head Boy immediately broke; and the purchase of a luxury garden shed.

Flushed with the chance of renewed greatness, the glistening pink Head Boy emeritus has now come over all Little Lord Fauntleroy and proclaimed his intention to be more charitable to our little brown brothers, with help from feudal retainers of the quality of Andrew "Mr Propriety" Mitchell and the director of the Love Among the Posh film franchise. It is to be hoped that the lesser breeds will be appropriately grateful.