Cash on Tap

As one would expect given the fines they've had to pay for poisoning the country's rivers, Britain's moisture provision profiteers have suddenly noticed the need for clean water and modern infrastructure, which have been so inexplicably and inexcusably neglected by somebody or other for so long. In order to be able to afford the necessary repairs and refurbishments, the leakers and dumpers plan to recoup their costs by the usual entrepreneurial means: those imprudent enough to rely on household water supplies will be "asked to pay" (charged, in Oldspeak) an extra ninety-six thousand million to make up the investment which the water companies, in their innocence, have been too dashed shareholder-dividendy to bother with so far. The sonorously-monickered regulator, Ofwat, is expected to spend the next few months pondering the permissibility of this bold new initiative.