Blushers to Spare

As all but the most patriotic Britons are increasingly aware, the process of cutting ourselves off from our single biggest export market has led to a wholly unpredictable decline in exports; while the process of kicking out all the foreigners has brought about a wholly unanticipated decline in the availability of foreign workers. Coincidentally enough, the last few years have seen a reduction on the order of £850 million in the mainland's capacity to help the lesser breeds disguise their blemishes, purify their complexions, and tidy up Nature's little errors. Patriotic Britons will no doubt be shocked and surprised yet again when they discover that the country which elected Boris Johnson, Theresa May and her glistening pink predecessor has less and less to teach the world about beauty.