Small Bugs

Although the hostile environment against unauthorised foreigns has been in force since the Conservatives and their Liberal Democrat accomplices introduced it more than a decade ago, Britain's independence from the beastly Euro-wogs has clearly endowed the policy with renewed rigour and suppleness. In diverging from the Strasbrussels imperium's decree banning the import of soil in plant-pots, the master race has imported an innovative and invigorating diversity into our island ecosystem. Inefficient indigenous bees are being stung out of their socialised quasi-Galápagos complacency thanks to the spread of Asian hornets, whose numbers have been waxing industriously since bio-security regulations became properly British. Even more fortunately, unlike certain Asian car manufacturers the hornets are unlikely to suffer any damage to their business interests, since the Battenberg Sycophancy Framework - as befits a product of British independence - explicitly denies that its bio-security specifications could apply to anything so crassly materialistic as a real-world risk.