Happiness is a Warm Gun

Although the climate catastrophe offers extensive business opportunities, especially and coincidentally to those trying hard not to prevent it, there are apparently one or two dangers as well. A parliamentary committee on wog-bombing has reported that the capacity of the master race to chastise the beastly Russians, control the Heathen Chinee and keep the USA on the right moral track may be considerably impaired should too many troops die of heat-stroke or the seas become too warm and plasticised to do their duty by the Royal Navy. The chances for profit are unlikely to stop at privatising water for all those new desert-dwellers, or even at resurrecting novelty prehistoric pets from beneath the permafrost-turned-tempofrost; but there are battles to be fought over the liquefying Arctic, particularly if the beastly Russians persist in claiming that those waters not busy flooding cities and drowing expendables are somehow un-American. Fortunately, the parliamentary committee on wog-bombing is no more lacking in foresight than it is deficient in strategy and, with devastating British originality, has recommended adapting to the new conditions.