Pragmatic Moderation in Bipartisan Veracity

In a rare instance of joined-up planning, the Department for Motorists, Limousines and Helicopters seems set to match Britain's future lack of railway staff with a corresponding lack of railways. Despite being in the charge of Grant Shapps, Michael Green, Sebastian Fox and Mark Harper the Racist Van Man, the HS2 rail project has been declared unachievable along with Fishy Rishi's Starmer-style pledges on tree-hugging. Fortunately, unachievable pledges tend to be less of a problem when they also happen to be insincere.