The Truth is Out There

Astoundingly enough, a former official at the institution which gave us the Tonkin Gulf gunboat attacks and the Iraqi weapons of mass nonexistence stands accused of saying the thing that is not. A leading analyst of "unexplained anomalous phenomena" has asserted that the USA has spent decades collecting extraterrestrial vehicles while fending off "malevolent" inquiries from their irritated proprietors; which doubtless helps explain the guilty panics that ensue whenever the North American continent is violated by a balloon that looks a bit Chinese. Naturally the whistle-blower has not corrupted his revelations with anything so un-American as mere evidence; which has led the woke forces of disphenomenatising unanomalousness to cast doubt upon his claims, some of which date back to the famously pro-truth and proto-Trumpster administration of Benito Mussolini. It may safely be assumed that the nation which chose to spend two of the past four decades under the rule of a senile actor, a faeces-flinging chimpanzee and a hydrophobic head-tribble will be keeping an open mind.