Self-Defence Against Fresh Fruit

Despite seven years of freedom from the Strasbrussels yoke, many British households have still apparently failed to start digging for Britain. Gardens, allotments and window-boxes are not producing enough turnips to ensure the master race a patriotic diet, and prices could be pushed up still further thanks to the demand by certain cosmopolitan and backsliding elements for imported fruit, cut flowers, plants and non-Westminster vegetables. The Government is considering imposing a charge of up to £43 for every consignment of fresh produce entering the country, with the usual salutary effect on the humble British tradesperson, while consumers will benefit from further rises in food prices, or "facilitating the movement of goods into the country and protecting our biosecurity." It is to be hoped that nobody will have the bad manners to fuel inflation by demanding sufficient wages to cope with these blessings.