Le stylo c'est l'homme

Although Fishy Rishi has defied his own economic collapse in ways arguably denied to less hard-working mortals, notably by upgrading the local electricity network to heat his swimming pool and making half-hour journeys by private aircraft, it seems that in other regards he is very nearly as frugal as if he hadn't married for money after all. Far from indulging himself and glorifying British statecraft with elegant penmanship, he routinely uses disposable pens imported from Japan, perhaps in exchange for half a case of Marmite via one of the Government's recent trade triumphs. As befits the man and his administration, his chosen writing instrument is not only cheap, but designed to go back on its word: the pen uses erasable ink and is marketed as "ideal for those learning to write with ink," although it remains as yet unclear whether Fishy Rishi's expertise in the art of calligraphy is on a par with his abilities when faced with questions, bank cards or members of the human species.