Rarer Avis

Were it not for the fortunate fact that His Majesty's Government takes its own announced targets slightly less seriously than it takes its treaty obligations to the wogs, Frogs and other lesser breeds, the continuing precipitate plummet in the country's bird population might be some small cause for concern. Mere experts claim that the main cause of the decline is habitat loss, which is unlikely to take precedence over the vital interests of golfers and sewage dumpers. The second Bullingdon Club administration passed an Environment Act requiring an end to the decline by 2030, and no doubt the Conservative Party and its frère et semblable on the opposition benches are very nearly as serious about the green crap as the National Johnson himself. If starving farmers and gassing badgers fails to solve the problem, it may soon be time to consider giving each deported invader a kitten to drown as they paddle their small boat to Rwanda.