Those With Nothing to Hide

So brilliant is the motivational record of the Department for Workfare and Poverty, and so effective its régime of scrounger-smashing, that it has suppressed its marking of its own homework from sheer delicacy of feeling. An internal study commissioned four years ago by the race-baiting Amber Rudd was immediately hidden under a bushel of turnips; Thérèse Coffey also scrapped the idea of an independent review of the effectiveness of fining people without any money, having decided that the Government had better things to worry about than whether making poor people poorer might have some effect on their health. Thanks to its leader's deep personal understanding of hardship, the Government is now making noises about efficientising the Idleness Police and taking advantage of its happy relationship with electronical computators to automate some of the shirker-shafting; which has caused the information commissioner to order the ministry research published. According to a spokesbeing, the DWP is considering its next steps, which will presumably involve some rigorously unsuppressed research into how far the information commissioner might himself be a scrounger.