Fagging for Cancer

In yet another incidence of the very real perils of allowing foreign to be spoken in British educational establishments, it has emerged that a former ambassador to Yemen was involved in killing Middle Easterners and breaching international law by slightly less direct means than those generally favoured by the British Government. In a series of unfortunate accidents, the envoy unintentionally participated in the opening ceremony of a Jordanian cigarette factory which was one-third owned by British American Tobacco, and also gave purely involuntary rah-rah to the enterprise on the company's website and during an apparently unconscious appearance on Yemen TV. Doubtless owing to an equally innocent series of oversights, the UK is a signatory to some unelected red tape which places arbitrary limits on the natural chumminess between Government officials and cancer salesmen. Nevertheless, as the factory opening was not categorised as a formal meeting no records were kept, and the whole honest mistake might have passed without notice but for the gratuitous presence of an Arabic-speaker at the University of Bath.