Let Them Drink Sewage

Thanks to the efficiency of the private sector, moisture consumers in the south of England may find themselves without the luxury of running water for the next few days. The unexpected advent of cold in the winter-time, followed by an irresponsibly precipitate thaw, has caused the relevant infrastructure to react with uncompromising Britishness; while efforts to supply bottled water have been managed with all the efficiency one would expect from moisture provision companies with healthy profits. Naturally the local parliamentary expenses claimants, one of whom is a former Secretary of State for Spivs and Sloganeering, have made all due haste to disclaim any responsibility and to warn non-shareholders not to come crying to them. It will be a sad day for British pluck and gumption when members of the ruling party carry the can for a situation which that same party has spent decades bringing about.