Thames Water Wags the Finger

One of the more enterprising members of Britain's proud moisture provision cartel is lifting the hosepipe ban imposed during last summer's drought, while lecturing the little people on their duty to avoid waste. Thames Water, whose vocation for dampness distribution is so profound that it leaks a couple of billion litres a year, has managed not to lose at least some of the recent heavy rain, but has warned that "we're not out of the woods yet" - a singularly apt choice of phrase for a company with Thames Water's talent for defecation. Given that spending on infrastructure runs contrary to the national religion, it is to be hoped that forthcoming bills will provide the non-shareholder community with further incentivisation towards aquatic thrift and prudence.