Environmental Hostility

Even as Fishy Rishi dedicates himself to the serious business of not being out-copped by the National Haystack, the beastly French are treating the climate emergency with their customary cowardice and frivolity. Car parks, farmland and empty spaces next to motorways and railways are to be deprived of their natural beauty and given over to solar panels, in a blatant attempt at appeasing the kind of people who glue themselves to banks and hinder car owners in their noble attempts to eradicate the dreaded plagues of home working and public transport. On the mainland, of course, no such surrender will be contemplated: the Minister for Non-Email Security has given police orders to stop being soft on the kind of extremists who fail to throw petrol-bombs at asylum seekers. The commissioner of the Metropolitan Police has denied plans to put snipers in motorway gantries or to enforce control by decapitation, but these omissions will no doubt be rapidly repaired if Team Starmer gets into power.