Cleverly Respectful

English, Welsh and "whatever other British" football fans in Qatar will be incalculably reassured that the Minister for Misnomer has made it his personal mission to ensure their safety. All that the non-heterosexuals among them need do in return is to demonstrate respect for Qatari law, specifically by keeping their filthy carnal appetites under strict control. Having served without demur in the cabinets of the National Haystack and Fishy Rishi - convicted law-breakers both - the Minister for Misnomer proclaimed that the little people are bound not only by the laws of the master race, but also by those of the lesser breeds. In the interests of promoting "a real embracement of diversity", the Minister claims to have held a real discussment with the Qataris, in which presumably he also expressed a real admirement of their no-nonsense attitude to workers' rights. In any case, non-heterosexual football fans attending the World Cup can now sleep easier in their separate beds.