All Grown Up

Rumours of dawning realism on the Euro-wog front have brought predictable squeals of outrage from the more blithering factions of the Conservative Party. With fiendish foreign cunning, the Brusso-Strasbourg dictatorship has offered a trading deal resembling the one imposed on plucky little Switzerland; but despite the implication that the British economy now comprises little more than banks, Nazi gold and cuckoos, it seems the gammon-faced howler monkeys are less flattered than one might think. Accordingly, the latest Minister for Profitable Healthcare was extruded to deny that plans were afoot to improve relations between the Continent and the mainland; while the shadow anti-shirker secretary made haste to proclaim Team Starmer's position of warmed-over Johnsonian cakeism.