Yell of Peril

The government which tanked the economy, drove the cost of living through the roof, cut the country off from its largest trading partner, vandalised the legal system and the NHS and neglected a hundred and seventy thousand Britons to death has designated the Heathen Chinee a serious long-term threat to our way of life. The beasts of Beijing have gone around setting up educational institutes to promote the teaching among the master race of their barbaric, un-British language and culture: an activity which has inevitably offended both the Henry Jackson Society and the more opiated reaches of the Conservative Party. According to the resident psychic at Britain's leading liberal newspaper, Conservative MPs were also concerned at the authoritarian tendencies of President Xi Jinping, who exhibits neither the responsible restraint of the Trumpster and his head-tribble nor the libertarian benevolence of the head-chopping House of Saud. Still, the news that Liz Truss doesn't much care for him will doubtless have him quaking in his little red boots.