Cake the Hard Way

In accordance with the national genius for hypocrisy, the concept of British independence from the ghastly Euro-wogs has always faced two ways at once. We could boost our international trade by cutting our biggest trading partner adrift; we could go global by kicking out the foreigners; we could improve our environmental standards by removing the restraints on Jacob Rees-Mogg. The Festival of Brexit, announced by Tumbledown Tessie some hundreds of years ago and now cheer-led by an executive director named Batty and an organisation called Walk the Plank, continues to showcase the sovereign flexibility of sunlit cakeism by explicitly turning Brexit into its own most potent counter-argument. The anticipated outflow of creative Britishness has been constipated by such famous Brexit benefits as labour shortages, disruption to supplies, and increased costs, prompting even some Conservatives to start worrying about the expense. On the other hand, a small number of "consultants" have somehow come through with a profit, doubtless thanks entirely to their native pluck and gumption.