Good Sports

Plucky little Qatar, whose values are so British that over eighty-five per cent of the population is foreign, has ordered many of its citizens to report for mandatory military service in order to resolve the labour shortage caused by the approaching quadrennial balls-boots-and-blah-blah. Diplomats serving overseas have been yanked back to the homeland for compulsory training in positive body language, detection of contraband, and marching up and down the square. Like certain other nations one could mention, Qatar is noted for its deference to a royal family and its no-nonsense attitude towards human rights and migrant workers; but it remains as yet unclear whether Britain's hosting of the Eurovision camp-fest will result in a similar drive for national service.