From Mourning to Mooning

World figures and James Cleverly are to attend the state funeral for the deeply unpleasant Shinzo Abe, who was assassinated some little time before the death of Elizabeth II. Nevertheless, the decision to accord Abe the honour of a state funeral has provoked considerable annoyance among the Japanese, especially in light of recent revelations about his party's ties with the Moonies. Japan's Liberal Democratic Party - a misnomer almost as delightful as the surname of Britain's Minister for Wogs, Beads and Trinkets - was co-founded by Abe's grandfather, the war criminal and subsequent US sock-puppet Nobusuké Kishi, who encouraged the Moonies' presence in the land of the rising sun on the all-American grounds that religious lunacy is a healthier pastime for the masses than trade unionism. Abe appears to have maintained at least a sentimental connection, and other party members have done rather more. The present prime minister of Japan has made a token call for such disreputable associations to cease, but it remains as yet unclear whether his reputation will recover; especially as few Japanese voters are likely to be aware that one can no more brainwash Britain's current foreign secretary than one can tailgate a Manx cat.