Foreign Olives, Crooked Branch

There are times when the beastly Euro-wogs appear genuinely to have no conception of why the United Kingdom fought so heroically to free itself from the toils of Strasbrussels bureaucracy; as witness the latest proposals by the dictatorship's chief negotiator, which are focused almost entirely on reducing bureaucracy. Not only does the Euro-wog position fall considerably short of the unconditional surrender that is the birthright of Mr Churchill's master race; but its attitude of grubby pragmatism takes no account of the high and noble ideals which motivated the racists and tax-dodgers of the Farage Falange to launch their great crusade. Additionally, of course, the idea of checking goods when there is "reasonable suspicion" of nefarious activity implies that the Continent is fully in line with the mainland as to what constitutes reason. As yet it remains unclear, to say the least, whether the filthy Euro-wogs would tolerate checks on lorries whose drivers looked a bit republican.