Some of Britain Basks

Despite its obsessive nostalgia for such traditional blessings of Britishness as stagflation, the workhouse and the National Front, Her Majesty's Government remains intensely relaxed about the uncomfortably rapid transition away from temperate of the greatest climate in the world. The River Thames has shrunk by five miles, further drought is forecast (though only by people who meteorologise professionally, as opposed to genuine patriots), and local moisture provision facilitators have implemented no restrictions on use. Instead, Thames Water has compensated for its profitably decayed infrastructure, and for the fact that a £250-million desalination plant has just been exposed as another of the National Johnson's little jokes, by ordering the little people to be more judicious with their taps. A spokesbeing has also ordered Her Majesty's Government to impose rationing, though the threat of a special luxury tax for imbibing raw sewage appears to be in abeyance for the moment. Her Majesty's Government has expressed frustration at Thames Water, which seems to be taking unfair advantage of the religious doctrine that forbids democratic governments to override the will of those who can afford private pools.