The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, August 19, 2022

A Duty and a Privilege

Forever enshrined mong the sacred and inviolable liberties of Britishness is the right of neighbourhood espionage and denunciation, and the water companies' belated action on the drought has already provided fertile ground for the seeds of native civic virtue. So eager are the great British public to get their neighbours in trouble that police have had to request that they not use the emergency service to report violations of the hosepipe ban; especially where no hosepipe ban is yet in force. Unauthorised use of a hosepipe is a civil rather than a criminal offence, and should be reported to the water companies, which understandably prefer "education over enforcement." Anyone routinely wasting two or three thousand million litres a day would indubitably find a lecture more convenient than a penalty.

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