Poor Intelligence

Having spent decades working against leftists, environmentalists and Muslims, the democracy-defending oxymoron that is Military Intelligence took little or no interest in fascist terrorism until two years after the assassination of Jo Cox. Even now, the best armed forces in the world have no clear restrictions on what groups their personnel can join: a situation which a committee of expenses claimants and ermine-hangers has delicately described as "somewhat risky." Although the ironclad laws of fiscal responsibility dictate that problems in firefighting, schools and the NHS must be treated by cutting resources and sacking staff, moderate and sensible economic theology has also decreed that dispensations may be granted to the special people. Thus the idea of a Member of Parliament taking a cut in salary commensurate with what the plebs have had to endure is virtually on a par with the idea that Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition might disagree with the Government once in a while. Similarly, when it comes to such vital patriotic professions as wog-bombing and spying, the answer to practically every problem is more money and nicer toys. In accordance with this holy precept, the parliamentary committee has determined that MI5 will need additional funding before it can work effectively against the kind of patriot who endangers his fellow subjects without orders from the sensible moderates at the top.