The Crime of the Congo

Politically correct historical revisionism continues to pollute the festering epicentre of the European Union. Unelected kings in Brussels are determined to deny the benefits of colonialism by handing back a gold tooth which was confiscated from the beastly Congolese populist Patrice Lumumba. A Belgian police commissioner stated that he dismembered Lumumba's body and dissolved it in acid, presumably in the interests of national security, after the conclusion of Lumumba's chastisement by allies of the free world. The commissioner's daughter subsequently enlivened a newspaper interview by brandishing a gold tooth, which the authorities repossessed and which will now be formally returned to Lumumba's family by unelected officials. In yet another demonstration that fiscal irresponsibility among the ghastly Euro-wogs remains just as rampant as moral delinquency, not a single question has been raised in the Belgian parliament about the effect on the continent's bullion reserves.