More World-Beating Diplomacy

Only four and a half years into the arbitrary detention of a British national by Hindu fundamentalists, the National Johnson has condescended to interrupt his party games and take notice. After prompting by the UN, Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition and the victim's brother, Johnson even managed to comment without confirming the charges, which come under the ever-useful rubric of terrorism and could result in the death penalty. Johnson's laudable restraint was somewhat undercut by his admission that the matter had previously been left in the famously maladroit hands of his filly for wogs, Frogs and Huns, who doubtless proceeded with her usual hob-nailed subtlety when trilling at her Indian counterpart during a couple of visits to the former Imperial possession. It remains as yet unclear whether she followed her master's example by quoting Kipling at the unfortunate native, whose suffering may have been tempered by amusement at being lectured by such a paragon on the subject of legal proprietes and human rights.