Flexible Response

Having already squabbled with the hotbeds of Communist subversion that are the CBI, the Church of England and the courts, Her Majesty's Government now seems on the verge of adding the best military services in the world to its ever-lengthening blacklist. The 2019 Conservative manifesto pledged an annual increase of half of one per cent above inflation for the war chest; but since the Chancellor has been content to sit back and let inflation leap joyously towards ten per cent, the National Johnson has once again been obliged to clarify the matter. On this occasion he did so by decreeing that annually did not mean year on year, but only the best out of five, and that ipso facto inflation must drop precipitately in the next two years or else risk the displeasure of the master race. Meanwhile the Minister for Wog-Bombing, evidently intoxicated by Press headlines crediting him with 0.5% more independence of mind than the mean Cabinet average, demanded a commitment of two and a half per cent of GDP by the beginning of the National Johnson's projected third term in office. An emollient Downing Street spokesbeing designated the year 2019 "a different age," which may be a bit of a shock to a party whose electoral base believes we're still living in the age of Winston Churchill and/or George IV. In any case, things have come to a pretty pass when the Conservative Party cannot even keep its promises to those who kill wogs for money.