British Crops from Boney Parts

Seven years after Great Britain led a coalition of lesser breeds to victory in the war against Napoleon and his beastly metric system, the London Observer noted the "singular fact that Great Britain should have sent out multitudes of soldiers to fight the battles of this country upon the continent of Europe, and should then import the bones as an article of commerce to fatten her soil." It is true that remains are surprisingly scarce on the battlefield, and archaeologists are now investigating whether the master race was really so efficient in recycling its plucky little smithereens. One expert on the Napoleonic wars, who argues that use of the bones as commercial fertiliser is plausible, noted that the investigating charity is also involved with modern expendables; so now that Wellington's heirs have cleansed British farming of its Euro-wog taint, there seems every possibility that history may suggest a fertile solution for the un-economical leftovers of British military prowess.