Please Relax, You Are Perfectly Safe

In light of the Government's plan, if plan is the word I want, to wean the energy industry off dirty foreign fossil fuels and onto sustainable British uranium, it will come as a glowing relief that red tape has been duly slashed after the usual forthright fashion. Safety inspections are carried out less frequently, and security alerts have risen to their highest level since the first Bullingdon Club administration and its little yellow fags had their famous bonfire of the safety measures. The Office for Nuclear Radiation proclaimed that it rejoiced at the increase in reports, which merely reflects an improvement in security consciousness among a previously complacent and lazy workforce; and that "separate regulatory scrutiny, which is not represented in the data" was being carried out, evidently by less boorishly expensive means than paying qualified people to go and have a look.