Our Steadfast Upstandingness

Rehearsals for the Ruritanian rah-rah of Her Madge Gawblesser's platinum artificial birthday have been blessed with a degree of Britishness appropriate to the times. People turned up by the absolute dozen to watch Her Madge's toy soldiers embody the nation's dignity by parading in their scarlet togs and silly hats; but when the onlookers rose for the Hymn to Subservience a stand collapsed and five people were injured. It is to be hoped that similar expert timing will be displayed by non-ministerial inanimate objects during our new and happy future of national celebrations undiluted by the petty provisions of Health and Safety.