Landfill's Hope and Glory

Now that Global Britain has freed herself from the Nazi-style punishment beatings of the beastly bureaucrats in Strasbrussels, the master race is at liberty once more to beat the world in order to save it by imparting a new British rigour to the nation's environmental protections. Accordingly, recycling rates at the centre of the world are falling, and the only region of England to have reached, let alone surpassed, the EU target is Wales, where apparently the pandemic was considerate enough not to interfere. Her Majesty's Government has been known to burble sweet nothings about banning single-use plastics and introducing deposit-returns for plastic bottles; but such visionary schemes have been left to litter the wayside while the National Johnson and his chums concentrate on more vital issues, such as using fossil fuels to pack plastic waste off to the Orient and wog waste off to Rwanda. It is Global Britain's good fortune to be led by an Establishment that, thanks to the moral and physical rigours of its education and upbringing, does not scorn to beat the world from behind.