Golden Boy

As patriotic plebs pluckily contemplate their ever-inflating food and energy bills, the Royal Mint has done its bit by creating a new way to pay them, in the form of a numismatic rah-rah for the Duke of Cambridge's fortieth birthday. According to the designer, the traditional profile angle has been avoided in order to make him look more dynamic, and according to the director of sycophancy at the Royal Mint the coin pays tribute to his princely grace and his family values. The image shows the great man droopy-eyed and chubby-cheeked, staring up and off like a bored husband at the breakfast table. In addition to the workaday five-pound coin, a limited-edition souvenir set, in gold with 3D laser imaging, will be released for the benefit of those loving subjects who can skip enough meals to afford it.